Bacon Crumble Apple Pie

Oh I know, "What!  What is this wonderful thing I've stumbled across?  A blog full of easy to make stoner food that will class up my table and keep my munchies in check at the same time?  Holy potatoes Batman."  I know it.  You've stumbled across a blog to keep you fed and well filled with your daily helpings of bacon, cheese, ranch dressing, and chocolate, we promise.

For our first creation of insanity we really wanted to go all out, class, bacon, cheese, we needed it all.  So without further adieu, we bring you Bacon Crumble Apple Pie.

 

Bacon Crumble Apple Pie

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Bake Time: 55 minutes

What you need:

• 1/2 lb bacon - we recommend sugar cured for this one as it's a little sweeter
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1/3 cup dark brown sugar (or light if you don't have dark)
• 3 tbsps unsalted butter, chilled and cut into cubes
• 1/2 cup sharp or extra sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
• 3 golden delicious apples, peeled and sliced
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp lemon peel, grated
• 1 store bought pie shell (unless you're super brave and really want to make your own)

Directions:


Preheat the oven to 400° F.  Don't get me started on this preheating crap.  Personally I heat it when I've got everything mixed but that's just what I do.  Every oven-involved recipe ever written starts with "preheat the oven" so here we are.

In a large skillet, cook your bacon over medium heat until crisp.  I actually didn't cook it until it was super crispy, mostly because we'll be putting this in the oven for about an hour and it's going to cook up nice and crisp anyhow.  Drain and dry on a paper towel before chopping;  we're not trying to drown the pie in grease. 

Gratuitous photos of bacon which will make you want to cook and consume bacon.

The crumble:

In a mixing bowl, combine the flour and brown sugar until they are well incorporated.

Next get your butter cubes out of the fridge.  They should look like this:

Shut up, your butter cubes are far from perfect.  Don't even get me started on your butter cubes.

Now, if you don't have a pastry knife, which I'm assuming you don't since I don't (who really needs one?), throw your butter in the bowl with the flour and brown sugar and smoosh it around with your fingers in the dry materials.  Eventually it will get crumbly. 

When you smoosh in the butter, you'll end up with a crumbly mixture that has all different sizes and shapes of butter chunks in it.  It won't be flawlessly uniform, and you really don't want it to be anyhow.

Once  you have a dry crumbly mixture, stir in your bacon and your cheese until everything is well mixed together (and still crumbly).  Stick it in the fridge for later.

The pie filling:

Slice up your apples because I know you haven't done it yet, and put them in another mixing bowl.  Add your granulated sugar and mix until all apples are well coated.  Now mix in your lemon peel, again until it is well mixed.  I thought about skipping the lemon but thought what the heck, since we actually happened to have a random lemon living in the fridge.  Trust me here - don't skip the lemon.  Usually you can, but not in this case. 

Put your pie crust into a 9" pie pan and use your fingers to squeeze and scrunch up the edges until it gets that pie crust look to it.  You may now unceremoniously dump your apple-sugar-lemon mixture into the pie crust.  Now lick the bowl.  Go ahead you know you want to, and this is one of the only times I'll let you - there's no egg, so no nasty bacteria.  Yay!

Take your crumble mixture out of the fridge and sprinkle it on top.  Or dump it on top, your choice, just make sure you're using all of it.  It's ok to sneak a few little hunks of bacon. 

Your oven should be heated by now.  If you didn't turn it on before, turn it on, heat it up.  Cover a cookie sheet with foil and place your unbaked pie on it.  Put all of this in the oven and cook for 15 minutes. Set multiple alarms, this is important.  After 15 minutes, cover your pie loosely with foil and put back in the oven for an additional 40-45 minutes or until pie begins to get golden brown.  Don't skip the foil, you'll burn your pie!!!

Enjoy warm.  We haven't tried this with ice cream yet, but I'd have to imagine it would be pretty good.

Ghost says: I was so worried about this tasting good, but wow it's actually really great!  Next time I make it I'm going to go for a little more class and use pears and some sort of white French cheese.  It'll be delicious!

Skul says: Mmmm... bacon.... yeah.... pie....